To Theo van Gogh: 21 July 1882

“What am I in the eyes of most people — a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person — somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then — even if that were absolutely true, then I should one day like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart. That is my ambition, based less on resentment than on love in spite of everything, based more on a feeling of serenity than on passion. Though I am often in the depths of misery, there is still calmness, pure harmony and music inside me. I see paintings or drawings in the poorest cottages, in the dirtiest corners. And my mind is driven towards these things with an irresistible momentum.”

― Vincent Van Gogh

Vincent Van Gogh: Starry Night Over the Rhone.

I’m always inclined to believe that the best way of knowing [the divine] is to love a great deal. Love that friend, that person, that thing, whatever you like, you’ll be on the right path to knowing more thoroughly, afterwards; that’s what I say to myself. But you must love with a high, serious intimate sympathy, with a will, with intelligence, and you must always seek to know more thoroughly, better, and more.

—Vincent Van Gogh

Lovers in the poet’s garden―Vincent van Gogh.

“Love is eternal — the aspect may change, but not the essence. There is the same difference in a person before and after he is in love as there is in an unlighted lamp and one that is burning. The lamp was there and was a good lamp, but now it is shedding light too, and that is its real function. And love makes one calmer about many things, and that way, one is more fit for one’s work.”

― Vincent van Gogh

Vincent Van Gogh: Starry Sky.

“At present, I absolutely want to paint a starry sky. It often seems to me that night is still more richly colored than the day; having hues of the most intense violets, blues, and greens. If only you pay attention to it you will see that certain stars are lemon-yellow, others pink or a green, blue and forget-me-not brilliance. And without my expatiating on this theme, it is obvious that putting little white dots on the blue-black is not enough to paint a starry sky.”

― Vincent van Gogh

Goodness nurtures the evil.

Did you ever notice that we tend to observe ‘the good’ before we indulge in ‘the bad’? Does it mean that human nature, primarily, is innocent?

Perfection is always what we humans look for within others at first glance. Innately, we are more inclined towards noticing good things in people due to which, we tend to make friends first and enemies are always formed later, with time and experience. So the concept of good and bad could also be discussed in this perspective that good is always there, yet bad or evil is the human derivative. Hence, good and evil might stay side by side in our lives, but evil is always the outcome of goodness. Conflicts and doubts do arise in love, but for that presence of love is required in the first place. 

Good things are easy to notice but are found after a lot of struggle and a hard climb up the mountain. Bad things, doubt, and darkness, on the other hand, are like the deepest pits; once you slip off the edge, it won’t be easy to stop yourself from falling down.

Doubt could be good and productive but it depends upon what it reaps in the end. For instance, if you doubt that your beloved is not happy with you, you will try to figure out the reasons and try to avoid them in the future. Thus, this kind of doubt will aid you in finding the key to the perfect and better relationship, hence it would be a doubt well done. However, if you doubt the loyalty of your lover, this kind of doubt will push you to uncover and shovel out all the bad things that were there in the past, and even if your lover comes out clean, by that time you would have already revealed a lot of dark, bad things, that were not known to you before. (as we all have secrets, don’t we?) Such doubt will merely reap the tarnished charm, disbelief, and low-esteem of your lover than you initially had in your mind.

Bad nurtures in the womb of goodness and ultimately, day by day and month by month, good things turn into bad things where, in the end, either just a few fainting sparks of goodness, that reminds us of once-upon-a-time existence of goodness, are left or else the darkness completely dominates, ceasing the light once and for all, like the black hole where no soft-corner and no tolerance is left for the other person, whatsoever. Now you have to decide which kind of doubts are you allowing into your heart and mind and which kind to shoo-away before they contaminate the goodness that prevails inside your soul. 

To Theo van Gogh.

Van Gogh wrote 903 letters to fellow artists, prominent dealers, and, most notably, his beloved brother, Theo. Detailing everything from his daily routine to his painterly endeavors, these correspondences offer us a glimpse into Van Gogh’s life—and the troubles that tragically shaped it. In the below excerpt from his letters to Theo van Gogh, he talks dreamily about the power of human thought and will while combating the distractions.

What is drawing? How does one get there? It’s working one’s way through an invisible iron wall that seems to stand between what one feels and what one can do. How can one get through that wall? — since hammering on it doesn’t help at all. In my view, one must undermine the wall and grind through it slowly and patiently. And behold, how can one remain dedicated to such a task without allowing oneself to be lured from it or distracted, unless one reflects and organizes one’s life according to principles? And it’s the same with other things as it is with artistic matters. And the great isn’t something accidental; it must be willed. Whether originally deeds lead to principles in a person or principles lead to deeds is something that seems to me as unanswerable and as little worth answering as the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg. But I believe it’s a positive thing and of great importance that one should try to develop one’s powers of thought and will.

Vincent Van Gogh, To Theo.

The Three ‘S’ Formula to be Happy.

Have you ever had a feeling of Deja vu upon hearing the word happiness? Does it feel like happiness was a word very very dear to you but now, you barely know it?

Let me tell you a story. We all came into this world with a happiness box built inside our bellies. It used to explode whenever our heart was full of joy and mind at ease. It automatically ejected the happiness spray making us realize that there were things of joy and beauty in this world. The things that weren’t huge, but tiny, yet provided us with a sense of completeness and tranquillity. As the ancient clock on my wall kept ticking and hourglass on my study table kept shedding grains of time, we grew up and so did our happiness box which then required bigger things to satisfy its hunger, higher expectations to feed on and artificial fantasies to quench its thirst.

What happened next was predictable enough. The cousins whose mere appearance made you feel overwhelmed with joy were now judged on either they brought a gift on your birthday or not, the friends whom you wrote infinite letters just to come and stay for ages at your home, are now inquired by you over the bills for the food that you ordered just to make sure you don’t have to spend all your money on such a wonderful get-together, which of course isn’t so wonderful anymore. Moon eclipsing the sun is a phenomenon we all are familiar with. Moon here is the embodiment of those fake fantasies and exceptional expectations that eclipse the warmth of true relationships, light of love and honesty of emotions.

Let’s make one thing very clear in our minds. Humans tend to dream high and yearn for all that glitters but it is not guaranteed that all the dreams dreamt in this world come true and that all that glitters is actually gold. I mean it could be, but not necessarily. 

“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.”
― Vincent Van Gogh

Happiness is not just a feeling, it is a  dimension, a driving force that makes us do big things that might seem impossible at first. While dreaming big, we usually forget that it is us who can make those dreams come true, but for that, first, we have to find happiness in whatever we are doing. According to the research, people tend to perform better in the jobs that they love, because then they do everything for the sake of love, and anything that is done in love, is mostly done at the peak of one’s happiness, from the bottom of one’s heart. 

For keeping your happiness box in its right state, I believe that three ‘S’s are very important to consider in life. Strive, Struggle, and Search!

Strive for the things that you love because such things will always bring happiness in your life. It may sound a bit tiring, and maybe you have to take stands against the conventions, maybe all odds would be against you while striving for the things that you love but trust me at the end, they would be worth it and the days to come will be spent in peace and satisfaction once you achieve your target. Struggle is a very important component of the three ‘S’. You have to fight where there is a need, for your rights, fight for your dreams and the things you love. You might have to go against the people that you love the most, you might have to eliminate and give up on some things or some people in your life, but at the end, when you would look back at the sacrifices you gave to get what made you happier, you won’t regret this selfishness at all. Lastly and most importantly, as long as we are living, we have to keep looking, keep searching for our inner peace, for every opportunity that could make us happier, and our tomorrow better than the yesterday, because at the end,

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on  the light.”

―Albus Dumbledore

You know what the most beautiful art is? To look into someone’s eyes as they are talking about the things that they love because those are the things that make them the happiest. We are who we are today because of all the good things that have ever happened to us. It is quite natural that we always feel a void inside of us and crave for more, but we shall know that happiness is not found, it is created, and we have to find little things of joy to create the happiness that we desire. We have to be that source of light, that source of happiness that we demand in our life. In the darkest times, we all tend to find the light, we all need a ray of hope and the warm sunshine of happiness. However, if you couldn’t find the light, then it is right inside you, you are the source of that light you are finding everywhere else. I can’t emphasize enough on this one, but do what you love, and love what you do because this is the surefire way to mark every day at your calendars as the happiest.

Vintage-I

The ticking sound of typewriters coming from the vintage coffee shop in midsummer nights. A mouthwatering aroma of tantalizing coffee and pastel colors of the cafe walls captivated my mind, awestruck I walked inside the aesthetic hallways till she greeted me with a warm hug. The mere reason for visiting this place was not the place itself, but her.

I never made it to the eye contact with her and my eyes, unable to witness the glinting aura she reflected, kept staring at her round, young bosom. From bosom to thighs, she was a milky divine. I still remember that craving inside my soul, when her hand caressed my shoulder, from time to time. The fire which burned me inside, the desire I had to cage within. The animal inside me, ready to unleash and ravish on her fair, plump skin, yet suppressing my flaming hunger for her, I too smiled at her sometimes.

Eyes mirror your heart, I don’t believe. Because if they did, she could see me preying on her, alive, every day, every night, little by little, slowly. Eating her flesh, quenching my thirst till the last drop leaves her body, bringing her back to life.

But Hey, who will Sanitize the Myocardial Pandemic Inside Us?

Hello, everyone!

Considering all the pandemic curse that we all are struggling through day and night, I hope to find you all in the peace of mind and safety of health. Spring is around the corner but it’s like we don’t even have time to think about the transitioning weather as we used to do in the normal routine. This time, I would’ve been putting all the winters clothes back into the closet and taking my summer outfits out with mom, but who cares? While checking the time on my phone screen, I realized that it is the DEFENSE DAY today. A long-awaited event whose preparations started from the day-one of March. I and my peers stood eagerly on our department’s roof watching the flypast rehearsals, yet in a moment, it’s gone. Nobody’s talking about it and I cannot see even a single post about the day. It’s like every link, every bond, every loop that had kept us connected for so long has vanished all of a sudden and all that prevails is individuality. All we care about now is our own safety.

This reminds me of how uncertain everything is and how ignorant we all have been while we had time. In planning our life-time achievements, we forgot what we had at that moment. While looking for more and most, better and the best, we lost what we needed to cherish the most; our friends, beloved, family, teachers, liberty, independence to breathe free, nature, evening strolls, meet-ups with cousins and fam. In my lifetime experience, I have never seen such a morose situation before. This situation could be best described as a feeling where everything is there as it used to be yet we are not able to feel them in their place. It is as if we wake up one morning and all the calendars become white, blank pages hanging on the walls, all the mobile phones lose track of time, dates, schedules, events, and planners where all we are left with are memos and diaries.

*Nostalgia joined the chat*

*You removed Nostalgia as the participant*    

Don’t you feel like there is something that is depressing and killing us more from the inside than the fear and melancholy of this pandemic virus? Regret! Regret that we could’ve been a bit more considerate towards ourselves and a little more forgiving towards the other people around us? Tell me you are not missing your class-fellows even the ones you don’t like personally? Don’t you feel guilty about your stubborn attitude towards life? How life gave us chances to learn, grow, be a better person, help others, be wild and free, but we wasted them either overthinking about tomorrow or mourning over the past. We are too unforgiving and too harsh when it comes to our own past or that of others, and too curious about what tomorrow will bring. We have failed as a human race. Cruelty is a common practice, arrogance over worldly things is a status symbol, show-off over nothing, making others feel bad about their own-selves, belittling others, violence, suicidal thoughts, mockery, injustice, lies, murder, animal violence, terrorism, rape of emotions and bodies likewise, accusations, accusations, and accusations! When would we stop and realize that it is we who need to change ourselves individually and not others.

#Judgeothersforwhotheyare went viral in 24hrs on Twitter.

When would we aim the cleansing gun towards ourselves instead of firing the mud balls at others? We need to emerge and behave as the superior race on this earth. We have a responsibility not to take care of ourselves and our fellow-beings only, but all the animals, plants and other creatures that are breathing around us. A patch of grass in the shade is dependent on humans to quench its thirst by watering it. Don’t go too far, just remember the Australian wild-fire. How scared those kangaroos and Koalas were as they hugged their human rescuers just because they were too scared of the fire, being unable to figure out whatever was happening. Moreover, where have all the hate and differences led you? All around the globe, people are struggling and suffering likewise. It is a global dilemma that teaches us to give up on our differences because no matter what, one thing will always remain common in us; Flesh and Humanity. We all are born the same and we die the same death, so what is all this arrogance about? Let’s just break this I-am-right-and-you-are-wrong glass wall that we have constructed between us and utilize your time in something eternal; something that would leave your marks on the earth even when you have ascended to the heavens.

#Judgeyourselfandbeabetterperson broke all the previous hashtag records on twitter by going viral in a blink on Twitter.

Now that we have so much time to pamper ourselves, do self-care, focus on self-development, pray to God, meditate, eat healthy at home (unlike regular days where we have to eat junk from cafeterias), write journals, feel the inner voice that we have been suppressing all our lives. Carpe Diem! Live in the moment and try to make the best out of it. Live, Breath, Inhale and Love yourself while you still can. Talk to your family, Laugh, Share and Care for your loved ones. Stop thinking about what could’ve been done or what could be done tomorrow. We have time, yet here we are, again looking forward to when things would get back to normal. We are in a haste, we always have been! And this is our tragedy, “Impatience” is surely our fatal flaw. Stop! Be patient! Bow down your stiffened necks a little bit! Persistence is the key and we will get through this together, fresh and new.

What matters the most is when the sun will shine brighter again, and we will get out under the deep blue sky once again, lets make sure the pandemic inside our hearts is the one that is actually gone, and we come out clean; forgiving, considerate, humble, responsible, contributing and positive than ever. Lets make a vow and sanitize our hearts from this ‘Myocardial Pandemic’ once and for all!

A mistake in time, saves none!

Tired of making mistakes and labeling yourself as a loser? If yes, you have landed in the right place. We all make mistakes, being humans of course and not angels, or Lucifer as we call him; the one who must nor be named 😀 Mistakes are as important a part of our everyday life as combing our hair is; perfectly okay! However, the twist arises when we enact the mistakes that are irreparable, but then again this is how life is; We do certain things we never meant to do, but once they are done, there is no Ctrl+Z button to undo them.  I believe that whenever our lips utter something, it suspends in the air and remains as energy out there in this world. Maybe that is why we feel bad at places while really happy at the others for no reason. Fell in love? Sometimes we are so blinded by the love; infatuation in reality, that we are unable to see beyond the temporary happiness that we are getting by choosing the wrong people, making the wrong decisions or making stupid choices at the wrong time. Do you know, calculation of time is significant while making mistakes. At times, we are saved even after making huge mistakes, while one tiny carelessness like stumbling upon a stone, we could kill a cat by falling on it. Talking of time, I couldn’t resist mentioning recollection. God has gifted us the magic of recollection where we can recall good old memories at any time, anywhere.

We don’t need a fancy cup of coffee and a perfect rainy street outside the window to indulge in nostalgia, rather a busy corridor could remind us of our first sweet kiss, or the last bitter goodbye.

This gift of recollection, however, becomes a nightmare based upon the choices we had made in the past. You know, it’s hard to remember the people we used to be, but its harder to picture the bad experiences and the bad people that we met back then and that we actually aren’t able to forget.

Time is a cruel entity, isn’t it? It never stops, neither lets us ravish on the richness of good experiences. It flies when we are happy but crawls in the time of agony.  Mistakes carry us away from the people just like a wild wave in the river that carries the wooden log thrown by an innocent child, far far away in the blink of an eye. While we are like a child, who cries and mourns over the loss of beloved people in his life, but they never come back. Mistakes are like the boat, that takes us away from the shore while we can see our loved ones left behind on the shore; little by little they disappear. At first, people make you believe that your mistakes mean nothing to them and they will cherish you no matter what, while slowly and eventually, they start giving excuses to sideline you, until that day comes when you wake up deserted by them.

Mistakes are the catalyst in our life that speeds up the process of our downfall both in the eyes of others as well as our own selves. It takes ages to build yourself from scratch and reach to a certain, satisfactory point in life. However, one mistake is all it takes to kill the bird.

They say you learn from your mistakes, I say, we do learn, but after the martyrdom of all those people that we used to be in the past.

Every day, we make a mistake, its either meeting the wrong people, taking a wrong turn, biting your tongue while eating that damned subway or inhaling the soup in our trachea, “BY MISTAKE” rather than the esophagus. Mistakes are made mistakenly, and for the time being, we don’t feel any before and after kind of difference. Little do we know that every mistake implicitly and silently kills the happiness inside us because even if we do ignore the arrows of criticism by wearing the armor of stiffness on our chests, our hearts cannot bear the jerks. It breaks, and screams, begs and cries for mercy, but the world is cold and time heartless. The armor of stiffness stiffens day by day until we become a new person and commit another act of what we call it? ‘A mistake’.

It is okay to make mistakes, we all do! However, the basic thing that we shall know exactly how to uplift ourselves from the devastation that we suffer because of them and learn something from them. Most of the time what happens is that we stick to the mistake, despite knowing in our heart that this will bring more misery and pain with time and are afraid to let go of wrong people.

Wrong people don’t mean bad people, it means the people who are not meant to be in your life, who don’t match your vibes, who cant keep up with your essence, your values and your beliefs. 

Never let yourself down, no matter what. Learn from your mistakes and take them as an opportunity to rejuvenate and become a better person. We suffer a lot from our mistakes, so make sure you make the impact count by becoming the best version of yourself. You are the ultimate savior of yourself and nobody else would ever be there for you if you arent there for yourself. Chin up, believe, and even if the whole world turns against you, make sure your scream the loudest in your support. Be your own A-Team, and save yourself first, and leave the whole world for another day because the Powerpuff girls are already taking care of that business. 😀

Adios.