To Theo van Gogh: Wheat Field with Crows.

I feel such a creative force in me: I am convinced that there will be a time when, let us say, I will make something good every day , on a regular basis….I am doing my very best to make every effort because I am longing so much to make beautiful things. But beautiful things mean painstaking work, disappointment, and perseverance.

—Vincent Van Gogh

To Theo Van Gogh: August 14, 1879.

“It’s better that we feel something for each other rather than behave like corpses toward one another, the more so because as long as one has no real right to be called a corpse by being legally dead, it smacks of hypocrisy or at least childishness to pose as such… The hours we spent together in this way have at least assured us that we’re both still in the land of the living. When I saw you again and took a walk with you, I had the same feeling I used to have more than I do now, as though life were something good and precious that one should cherish, and I felt more cheerful and alive than I had been for a long time, cause in spite of myself life has gradually become or has seemed much less precious to me, much more unimportant and indifferent. When one lives with others and is bound by a feeling of affection one is aware that one has a reason for being, that one might not be entirely worthless and superfluous but perhaps good for one thing or another, considering that we need one another and are making the same journey as traveling companions. Proper self-respect, however, is also very dependent on relations with others.”

― Vincent Van Gogh

One Way Or Another, We Have To Deal With Our Problems, Ourselves.

Life could get really dark sometimes. You want to cry, but choke on your own sobs. You want to pour your heart out in front of someone, yet you are not sure who is the right person. Siblings, family, parents and friends, all seem to be those obnoxious dreams which were once beautiful, yet are over before you even realize that they weren’t real. No matter how devastated you might feel in such hours of agony and destitute, always remember that such turning points are not the tragic endings of your story.

Your life is supposed to be the beautiful plot which shall be written by you, yourself. No matter how aching your swollen eyes might get after crying for a long time, without anybody noticing, you shall keep your spirits high. Easy to say, while immensely painful to experience, I know that no advice could make you feel better, no arms could provide you the warmth and no medicine can heal your headache, yet we are bound to move. We shall move on and this is the bitter reality of life. No matter how many hours straight it rains cats and dogs on your pillow at night, you have to wear the perfect rainbow vibe on your face to adjust in this society, without being judged by the people to be a crybaby, or worst an attention seeker.

You are strong and nothing could ever go horribly wrong in ones life. What might seem to be a chainsaw, could just be the chain of a broken bicycle. 😀 Prepare yourself for the toughest journeys as life is never going to get slow and easy for any of us. We have to run faster with time or else it has a tendency to crush us just like a train never spares a thing in its way. You have to be strong! You must not give up!

One way or another, we have to deal with our problems ourselves. Nobody is going to clean your spilt milk. You were the one who caused the mess, so you should take the responsibility and at-least try to mend the broken pieces. I know life could be brutally harsh at times, but complaining can never make it bearable, in fact ranting without working for the solution can lead us on the verge of breakdown. Such situations can get worse, you might even get suicidal or want to jump off a cliff, but who cares? It would be you, your corpse lying in the darkest pits of the wild, animals shredding your flesh apart. Does it make any difference? Why then? Even if we are falling apart from the inside, let it be, we can’t control our emotions sometimes. We can’t calm our nerves all the time, yet we can smile and pretend that everything is alright until death embraces us and we depart to an eternal home of solace. Sometimes nothing can make any difference, no word of love and care could help in making you feel any better, instead you start feeling pathetic with those kind words of concern. Human minds are very complex and sometimes we can completely fail in understanding our own attitudes, our own behaviors.

At times in our life, nothing makes sense yet we do some things out of curiosity, and well, bad luck, I must say.

No matter whatever happens, just believe in yourself and face the challenges of life like the cosmic creation you are! You are the supreme creation of this universe and are capable of achieving any end that could possibly exist and beyond that. Give yourself a moment of relaxation, let it rain on your pillow or hug a genuine friend/family member, who actually cares and values your tears, let your heart and lungs scream in a rhythm and then let yourself flow because sometimes, there’s beauty in the breakdown.

Vincent van Gogh: At Eternity’s Gate.

“There is a great difference between one idler and another idler. There is someone who is an idler out of laziness and lack of character, owing to the baseness of his nature. If you like, you may take me for one of those. Then there is the other kind of idler, the idler despite himself, who is inwardly consumed by a great longing for action who does nothing because his hands are tied, because he is, so to speak, imprisoned somewhere, because he lacks what he needs to be productive, because disastrous circumstances have brought him forcibly to this end. Such a one does not always know what he can do, but he nevertheless instinctively feels, I am good for something! My existence is not without reason! I know that I could be a quite a different person! How can I be of use, how can I be of service? There is something inside me, but what can it be? He is quite another idler. If you like you may take me for one of those.”

― Vincent van Gogh, The Letters of Vincent van Gogh.

Being a Blogger can be Toilsome Sometimes.

Being a blogger could be a devious job sometimes. There might be days where you won’t even get a second to make it to your typewriter (laptop in the modern terms), because either you are too sleepy or have so much else going on in life that keeps you occupied, and then, those days where there would be so much going on in your mind that you won’t be able to sleep a wink before dribbling your anticipation on the writing area of your blog. Being a blogger is one thing, being a dedicated blogger, another. There are a lot of meticulous writers out there who create delightful content every morning.

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They seem to me like those perfect artists who set up their typewriter on the kitchen table every morning, with a kettle full of bubbling tea on the stove. The sound of clinking silver utensils in the kitchen, along with the pulsating dark and light shadows of the ivy tree as the sunlight plays hide and seek with its leaves create spell-bound environs for a perfect composition. After pouring a generous amount of tea in a mug of their favorite majestic tea set, accompanied by crispy, golden hashbrowns, they settle comfortably in the chair and start typing while sipping and munching on their divine breakfast. Ps: Breakfast can vary from person to person depending upon what appeals to them the most. For instance, talking about myself, I would definitely prefer a greasy potato waffle oozing with cheddar cheese, along with a mason jar full of whipped cream over the cold coffee.

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I have always imagined myself to be such a writer, however, being a student and that too in this catastrophic phase of the 21st Century, the ideas of being such a writer and managing my workload efficiently don’t get along really well. I am insane, sleep-deprived, deadline-bound, and extremely irritated by the messed up schedule due to never-ending online classes. However, it doesn’t matter what we have idealized and fantasized about our lives, in fact, what matters the most is either we are living our life to its fullest or not? Are we getting the best out of it, learning new things, and encountering adventures unknown to our mind and body before or not?

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What if I can’t update my feed by posting new content every day? I get to sleep more hours than the average people, which is facilitating my dark circles, bound to cook and bake during the quarantine even if I don’t want to sometimes, enhance my baking expertise while meeting up with the bulk of deadlines everyday revamp my writing prowess. It is up to us how we look at the things around us, it is our perception of looking at the things that immensely shape up our life as either positive or vice versa. When we look at our dreams and future plans that have not come true yet or were skipped/missed somehow, we denote these voids either in the sense of “deprivation,” or in the sense of “opportunity to learn and experience something else, something new, maybe better.” 

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Most of us tend to set goals and make an elevated checklist of magnificent ambitions. It’s great to have goals, to plan one step ahead, and to dream big. However, dwelling so much into those ambitions that they start ruling your emotions and mental stability is toxic. Aim for a better tomorrow but try to make the best out of today. Make sure that your tomorrow is conjoined and linked with your present somehow because only then your life can transition smoothly from one phase to another, slowly and gradually. Aiming for the stars when you have just gotten out of the bed doesn’t make sense, does it? Obviously not! For that, you have to get up, knead your sparkling eyes that have just woken up from a peaceful stroll in the dreamland’s serene prairies, and prepare them to witness the same, dull reality of life. We shall take one step at a time to reach our final destination.

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Feeling lazy? Sleep. An overdose of energy is boosting up your morale? Do whatever you feel like investing your energies in. Do your homework, prepare for the quiz, complete your pending assignments, take a stroll in the evening, bake your favorite cake, relish on hearty dinner with your family, laugh your lungs out, do gardening, water your mini cactus, earn money, freelance, or simply make yourself a refreshing cup of coffee as a sweet treat because you deserve all the self-care, inner peace, and self-love in this world. Moreover, trust me it is not considered as the selfishness by any means. It is a physical and emotional need of every human but sadly, most of us don’t realize the rights of our body and mind. Amid the buzz of keeping everyone around us happy, meeting the deadlines, writing for others, making somebody’s day, texting to check up on others, cooking and baking to share the love and strengthen the family bonds, the infringement of these major rights lead us to inner dissatisfaction, which grows stronger and overwhelming with time, without us realizing the reason behind this distress. Do whatever makes you happy and that is the only secret ingredient that will make your cauldron of happiness bubble and bubble.

Adios,

xoxo.

Vincent van Gogh: Dear Theo.

“I know well that healing comes-if one is brave-from within, through profound resignation to suffering and death, through the surrender of your own will and of your self-love. But that is of no use to me; I love to paint, to see people and things and everything that makes our life-artificial, if you like. Yes, real life would be a different thing, but I do not belong to that category of souls who are ready to live and also at any moment to suffer. I am everything but courageous in sorrow, and everything but patient when I am not feeling well, though I have rather a good deal of patience in keeping to my work.”

― Vincent van Gogh, Dear Theo.

The Complete Letters of Vincent van Gogh.

“If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.”

―Vincent Van Gogh